What’s ironic about forgetting this time around is I have been thinking about ablations a lot lately for a couple different reasons. For one, I was reminded how lucky we are to have a procedure available today that can give us our lives back after reading Paul’s recent ablation story.
Second, I’ve been thinking about my own “luck” so far. While I totally spaced my ablation anniversary, which was March 5th by the way, I was keenly aware that this was my fourth year of afib-freedom. That had me thinking a lot about afib. Specifically, it had me wondering when my afib would return.
Why would I think such things, you might ask? As hard as a try not to be, I’m a bit of a pessimist. I’ve gotten much better over the years as I’m far more positive than I used to be, but I still have a long way to go. I have to work really hard and pray to be positive and optimistic about things.
Having had four years now of total afib-freedom, you start to wonder when the gig will be up. Surely this can’t go on forever. After all, there supposedly isn’t a cure for afib, right?
The truth of the matter is, while we might not have an official “cure” for afib right now, a solid ablation done by an expert EP can indeed provide many years of afib freedom. I know many people who are approaching 10, 15, and even 20 years now of afib freedom after their ablations. Given those success stories, why don’t I believe I’ll be one of them? Why am I convinced my afib will return – and likely very soon?
My Afib History
I’m fearful my afib will return sooner than later because of my history. Afib runs rampant throughout my family. My dad was diagnosed with afib at a relatively young age (50) and I believe it ultimately led to his heart failure and eventual death at just 61 years of age. I had my first afib episode in my early 30’s, a very young age to get the condition.
With such a strong genetic link of afib in our family and given how young my dad and I were when we were first diagnosed with it, I suspect I have a “complex case of afib.” Meaning, it’s not likely one ablation will suffice for me to be afib-free the rest of my life. Sure, it’s possible, but always being the realist, I’m confident another ablation is in the cards for me down the road.
I wish I was an optimist. I wish I could believe that I’m good to go and I won’t need another ablation ever again but it’s so hard for me to think that way.
My Faith Gives Me Peace
Despite my pessimism, my faith in God has given me peace. I know that no matter what happens, God will take care of me. He may bless me with another 10+ years of afib freedom. He might even bless me a lifetime of afib freedom.
But if my afib returns sooner than later, I have faith that He will eventually lead me to a life totally free of afib. The journey to that ultimate cure might be a bit bumpy but God’s got this. Knowing that gives me peace. I’m no longer afraid of afib! Sure, I think about it often, but it’s not the ominous dark cloud over my head like it used to be.
A Lot to Be Thankful For
I have so much to be thankful for despite my physical and mental battles with afib over the years. The fact that I’m celebrating four years of afib freedom is a tremendous blessing that I’m so grateful for! The fact that I don’t have to take any drugs (for any healthy condition) is a blessing too!
I have good health, a loving and supportive family, a roof over my head, food on the table, a couple cars, financial security, and a renewed faith in God that grows stronger and stronger every year. What more could a guy ask for? I’m truly blessed.
My Plans for the Rest of 2019
In my 3rd anniversary post from last year, I wrote about how I was struggling with insomnia and my weight. I’m so happy to report that with God’s help I have been able to conquer both!
As I wrote about in great length in my recent post about losing weight eating anything you want, I have successfully lost 30 pounds! I’m now at a comfortable 170 pounds. My goal this year is to maintain that weight. When I do my annual update next year at this time, I want to be able to say I’m still at 170 pounds!
Conquering insomnia has been nothing short of a miracle. Over the years I threw everything at it – prescription drugs, supplements, you name it. Nothing worked. I started praying, reading the Bible, and getting closer to God and over time the insomnia just went away. I now sleep better than I have ever slept before and I don’t take anything – no drugs or supplements. I will continue to pray for good sleep.
Needless to say, I actually do thank God in prayer every night for the great sleep I’m getting. I also thank God every night for giving me afib freedom. I’ll never forget what He has done for me so I be sure to thank him every single day of my life.
Aside from those things, I pray that God will give me some guidance with this website and my professional life in 2019. I got some terrible news this week about my website. For whatever reason, Google has decided my website isn’t worthy of the rankings it has enjoyed over the last several years. I have lost virtually all of my search rankings in Google. As a result, my audience has instantly shrunk.
This website went from averaging around 25,000 – 30,000 NEW visitors every month to now just 1,500 new visitors per month. That’s not a typo! This site reaches a mere fraction of the audience it had just a couple months ago. That’s just the way it goes when you rely so heavily on free traffic from Google.
To add insult to injury, I was notified the same week by the exclusive sponsor of this site that as of April 1st they no longer want to sponsor it. They just don’t have the budget for it anymore. My only source of income from this website will be disappearing. Unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to find sponsors when your site has so little traffic so this site will have to limp along without any revenue.
At first all of this was a kick in the gut. I was a little frustrated and depressed at first but with my renewed faith in God I was o.k. with it. All things happen for a reason. Maybe the time has come for me to stop writing about afib and move on to something else. Maybe my purpose here has come to an end. I don’t know, but I’m confident He’ll reveal the answers to me in due time.
Professionally, I’m still very lost as I continue to struggle about what to do with my life. My current business has come to a crawl and I’m at the crossroads in life right now. I think they call it a midlife crisis…lol. It’s not really a “crisis” but I am 46 (soon to be 47) and am really struggling trying to figure out what it is I want to do for the rest of my life professionally. I continue to pray for God’s guidance on that and I’m confident he’ll lead me down a favorable path in 2019. We shall see what happens!
God Bless and I wish you all the best for the rest of 2019!